I have been married for the past twenty-two years, however right through the first eighteen years, we experienced so many challenges that I did not enjoy any peace or happiness. After the first two years of marriage, my husband started having extra-marital affairs. Sometimes he would inform me he was travelling to attend a two-week course in Accra, only to end up spending the entire period at another woman’s house. Once I became aware of this it degenerated into a huge fight on his return, during which I beat him up mercilessly. None of this actually put an end to his affairs. At certain times I would show up at his girlfriend’s house, lock them both in their rooms and beat them up, but all to no avail.
The last straw that broke the camel’s back was when I returned from my hometown earlier than planned and rang the bell. It was some time before he answered the door, fuelling my suspicions that he was not alone in the house. I went straight to the bedroom which was empty, but I found the woman hiding in the bathroom. I was just about to hit her with a metal rod, but for the intervention of my husband who protected her with his hand. This resulted in an injury to his wrist and brought about a separation between us for about three months. Although we shared the same apartment and even the same bedroom, I used a separate bed and decided never to sleep in the same bed he had defiled with another woman. None of these resulted in any change of behaviour or attitude.
I lost all respect for him consequently; he became more recalcitrant as a result of my attitude towards him, turning all this into a very vicious cycle. The situation escalated to the point where I sought for a divorce, but due to his status as an elder in his church, he brought in people I respected to plead on his behalf for reconciliation. Although I accepted his apology, I had lost all respect and love for him.
I was introduced to, joined WWPM at this point (2008), and through the teachings realised that fighting and naggings were futile and only exacerbated the situation; the change had to start from within me. I also realised that I had contributed to the status quo through my own ignorance and insensitivity to his needs. My husband ultimately noticed this change and improvement in my relationship towards him, and consequently changed his own behaviour. One of the lessons I learned was that nagging and fighting are marriage destroyers and do not serve any useful purpose in establishing happy and joyful marital homes.
Now he advises and encourages others in similar situations using the example of our own experiences and the power of God to turn things around. Praise God!