How To Approach Sex In Our Marriage

How To Approach Sex In Our Marriage

Ruth 4:13 ¶ So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife; and when he went in to her, the LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son.

Song 1:2 ¶ Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy Love, Affection, Care,Worshipis better than wine.

Approach:

  1. To Move CloserTo Something Or Somebody
  2. To Deal With Something In A Particular Way

 

Approach Sex With Love; knowing fully well that sex is love making.

Approach Sex With Kindness: knowing fully well that God created sex to be enjoyed not to be endured. Do everything in the bedroom out of kindness to your mate; go for longer foreplay to show that you are kind to your Him/her.

Approach Sex With Thanksgiving; knowing fully well that sex is a gift from God. Always see sex as a gift from God, accept it with love, accept it with joy, and accept it with thanksgiving.

Approach Sex With Selflessness; knowing fully well that givers never lack. Most people approach the bed with the thought of what to gain and enjoy, not with the mind of what to give to their partner and to satisfy them.

Approach Sex With Patience; knowing that love is patient and that sex is not a race, don’t make love in an hurry.

Approach Sex With Good Communication; knowing fully well that your spouse is different from you and that lack of good communication only bring frustration. Good game needs good talk, as you get the door to your bedroom close, get communication door wide open, keep on talking,

  1. Talk about your body
  2. Your pleasure
  3. What you want
  4. How you want it, how fast, how slow
  5. Where you want to be Touch

Approach Sex With Excitement; knowing full well that this is the most exciting thing on earth.

  1. Get excited
  2. Give excitement
  3. Look for excitement and look forward to really enjoy sex with great excitement.

Approach Sex With Contentment; knowing full well that your spouse is enough to satisfy you. Be content with your spouse’s body, see him or her as the best God can offer you as far as sex is concerned.

forgiveness

One and Done

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
Hebrews 12:15 KJV

Because forgiveness is a choice, it is something that we do and then it’s done. It is not an ongoing, progressive act. Some people hesitate to forgive someone, saying something like, “I’m working on it” or “It may take me a while to completely forgive them.” This implies that forgiveness takes time.

It doesn’t. While feelings take time to change, forgiveness is only a choice away. Once we decide that we are willing to choose forgiveness, we can complete the act of forgiving immediately.

Have you been waiting to forgive someone until you feel more ready? Are you willing to consider the idea that forgiveness is a choice you can make here and now? In the next reading, you’ll be invited to make the choice to forgive those who have hurt you.

You may be thinking, “But I can’t just let them off the hook! They deserve consequences, including my anger at them!” We tend to think that forgiveness is only for the benefit of the other person, the offender.

With forgiveness, the benefit to the offender is only half of the truth. Sure, there may be some tangible benefit to someone else when we choose to forgive them, but forgiveness is many times just for our own benefit. We forgive so that we don’t have to walk around anymore with bitterness or resentment inside (Heb. 12:15). When we forgive, we get to live free of those controlling thoughts. Forgiveness is for our own benefit as much as anyone else’s. In fact, the person we forgive may no longer be living or may never even find out that we forgave them! In that case, the benefits of forgiving them are all our own.

forgive

Forgiveness Is a Choice

“Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing’” (Luke 23:34 NIV).

Despite the overwhelming rejection and physical pain, Jesus made the decision to forgive.

Now, that same Jesus lives in us?

Sometimes we might hesitate to forgive someone because we don’t feel very forgiving toward them. We might still feel a great deal of anger toward them. So we examine our emotional state and decide we are not in any condition to forgive. We buy into the error that forgiveness is a feeling.

Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. It is about choosing to cancel a debt owed to us. Yes, we might feel that someone owes us an apology, or that they should make up for what they have done to us. They owe us big time. But forgiveness is releasing them from that debt and giving up the right to be treated fairly by them. Making this choice to forgive may fly in the face of everything we are currently feeling. Our feelings may cry out against the whole idea of forgiveness. Still, we can choose. This mirrors what God did when he chose to forgive us.

We don’t have to wait for our feelings to come on board. Instead, we can follow the divine sequence that God has given us: think, then choose, then feel. We can set our minds on the truth of what needs to be done. We can choose to forgive and release someone from the debt owed to us. Then, from that day forward, we can remember the choice we made. We can continue to live in agreement with the choice we made. Our emotions may or may not line up with our choice. Still, we know what we chose to do—forgive and release—and that is what matters most.

husband-stopped cheating

My husband stopped cheating

I got married four years ago and my problems started approximately one year afterward. Due to work commitments, I was living in Kumasi with my husband living in Accra. He started engaging in extra-marital affairs with a girlfriend in Accra who stayed with him when I returned to Kumasi after my visits. Once I had knowledge of this, and visited him unannounced and met them together and viciously attacked them. I learnt to my horror that the girlfriend was pregnant with his child. She would call and verbally abuse and taunt me, referring to him as our husband. My husband would even support her and would threaten me against retaliating against his girlfriend. He eventually moved in with her without my knowledge and she would text to taunt me whenever they were together. My husband started abusing me, insinuating that I was not a woman worth being married to etc., and threatened to take away my son and divorce me. He didnt speak to me for about two months.

I discussed the on-going issues with Mummy and she prayed with me. During the couples dinner which I attended on my own, he called me on the phone and two days later was in Kumasi to visit us. He felt guilty and asked for forgiveness, saying he knew only my prayers had saved him from the clutches of his now ex-girlfriend. We went to church together, and have now been blessed with another baby, to the glory of God.

 

 

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